Paradox

Here is one of my periodic posts of things we learned along the journey of infertility. I was amazingly blessed by the wisdom of so many during my journey and only hope I can share some things I gleaned along the way in order to help others. So here goes!

I love how Jesus identifies with us and we can identify with him. This morning I was contemplating the paradox of Jesus going to the cross because of “the joy set before him” but also moments before dying was crying out, “My God, My God, why have your forsaken me?” It almost seems double minded in a way but it’s a matter of perspective. So this is how Bryan and I found ourselves during the season of infertility. We surrendered our will of having children in our own timing because we knew there was a greater plan - a joy set before us. On several occasions we knew as clear as a bell that we were not to pursue infertility treatments. We couldn’t take matters into our own hands but had to tell God we wanted His greater plan and we had the seed of hope for something bigger and greater than what we could pursue. Yet sometimes minutes, hours or days later after surrendering our way of doing things because of the joy set before us we would literally be crying as if saying the words of Jesus on the cross – “My God, my God why have you forsaken me.” Oh course, I know our trial was nothing compared to Jesus’ death on the cross but yet at the cross we felt comfort knowing we could identify with him. Now we have the joy of Anna! What a sweeter and greater plan than we could ever ask or imagine!

If you have to die to your own plans and timing of things, remember to keep perspective in that there is a plan of joy before you, hold onto your seed of hope and cry out if you need to when you feel forsaken. In light of eternity, Jesus was only forsaken for a millisecond so your feelings of being forsaken are only momentary.

May the vision of the joy set before be renewed in your moments of feeling forsaken!